opinios

The Japanese Proficiency Exam results came out today.

Ok, so I did devote every waking moment for an entire year of my life to studying for the damn thing. And I did fork out loads of cash on an electronic dictionary, flash cards, grammar text books and past exams to give myself the best possible chance at passing it. I managed to convince the principal at my school to let me go early on Friday afternoons so that I could very diligently attend Japanese class with my wonderful teacher, Yamada sensei, every week. And yes, it is true that I actually took an entire week of annual leave leading up to the exam to spend 10 hour stints sitting at the local family diner cramming characters and vocab and grammar structures and quirky nuances of the language into my head (warning: this is not conducive to good health).

But for what? A shitty little piece of paper?

No, I didn't pass the stupid exam. I got 55% overall so I was close to the 60% pass mark, but not close enough. As I predicted, I passed the writing and listening sections no worries, but the reading stung me - mainly because I just ran out of time.

So yes, I'm a tad disappointed. I think the fact that instead of writing 'Attempt Unsuccessful' or 'An Insufficient Score Was Achieved', they use the word FAILED just to really rub it in.

But I tell you what, I would have been even more disappointed to have put that much time and effort into the friggin' thing, only to get my certificate sent in the post on such a cheap-arse amateurish looks-like-it-was-printed-on-a-secondhand-inkjet printer-in-some-loser's-garage piece of paper. Now that would have been a real let-down.

What do you mean, I sound bitter???

Congratulations to those who did pass, whatever level you took (that means you Kinki!!).

Well, I'm glad that's over, but the question of whether I passed the level 2 Japanese Language Proficiency Test this year is one that will be harder to pick than a broken nose. I wore myself out last week studying for the damn thing, and then had to get straight back into the swing of a regular work routine, hence this delayed report...

It's not that I did badly. There is a small chance I might have passed. I was pretty pleased with the Kanji and Listening sections, and had to guess less questions than I expected to in the Grammar section. But it was the 7 pages of newspaper and magazine articles with comprehension questions in the Reading section that killed me. And I kinda knew it would, but never really believed that I would simply run out of time.

That's what shat me about the test. I mean, if you want to make a test really difficult, then fine. Throw in some obscure vocabulary, some slang and some difficult characters. Sort out the men (and women) from the mice with some hardcore confusing grammar patterns, like those ones that use double-negatives or combinations of the causative-passive voice, so that you get it all twisted in your head and don't know if the article is saying "the man took the picture of his friend", or that "his friend took the picture of the man", or that "they both had someone else take a picture of them" just because there is an extra conjugation of the verb form at the end... Like I was saying, if they want to put that shit in there then fine, go right ahead. It makes my head spin and I'll have to take a wild guess, but at level 2 you should be able to sort it out as it is how the language works, and I'm happy to acknowledge that I don't know something.

But why is it so unrealistically long, given the allotted time??? I consider myself a pretty quick worker, I have sat a lot of exams over the years (some of those engineering exams at Adelaide Uni were killers). And despite having to deal with distractions (like mobile phones going off and CD players left playing in people's bags, audible enough to piss me off but out of ear reach for the patrolling invigilators, can you believe it?) I have managed to get my reading speed up to a level that I am pretty proud of. And yet I still didn't get through half of the reading!

At the "there are 5 minutes remaining" announcement I began to despair as there were still 5 pages that I hadn't read through, and desparately tried to inhale all of this information in record time before jumping to the questions.

I mean, why not have a separate test for "Speed Reading", and let those who want to prove their Japanese comprehension ability do it in a reasonable time frame?

It was useless. I realised this at the 4 minute mark. I then chose to resort to some advice given to a friend that was relayed to me in the morning...

When in doubt, choose number "4" !

And filled in about 12 questions with the answer "4" without even reading the question. Still, if my kanji and listening scores manage to bring me up to the 60% mark overall, then I will be one delighted man. It won't be an earth-shattering score, it will be dead-on 60 and not a point higher. But that's enough for me. The results come out around mid-February next year, so it could be a pleasant birthday present.

And if I don't get over the line, well.

You know...

*shrug*

They can all go and get fucked!!

:-)

Anyway I think that Kim might have gone better in her first attempt at sitting level 4. She was thrown by the listening as it is not much slower than level 2, just using a smaller vocabulary. But it sounds like she aced the kanji and reading/grammar sections so fingers crossed.

Oh my god I can't believe how much friggin' study I have done this week. Honestly, I think the local Jonathon's family restaurant staff were getting ready to set up a bed in the corner of the room to call my own. Today I put in a very studious 10 hours - from around 10am to about 6pm solid (with Kim joining me for lunch and some question-answer time), and then I went back again in the evening for another couple of hours.

I'm almost excited about this stupid exam tomorrow. Excited about the fact that it will be over, regardless of how I go. Excited about the prospect of doing something in my spare time that doesn't involve committing strange characters and stranger grammar patterns to memory. Playing my bass, reading books (so much to catch up on!), doing some drawing, redesigning opinios, going for a swim! All of these things have suffered in my dedication to passing this damn thing. And for what really? A while back I was thinking of maybe teaching Japanese in Australia, but my heart is basically set on the graphic design/web design stuff, so if I do pass then it won't really mean anything career-wise.

But it will for me. I've basically been working all year for this thing, so fingers crossed. Yes I will be a bit disappointed if I don't get over the line. But I'm also realistic that I will be very close to that line, dangerously close. If I don't pass then the thought that I have learned all this useful Japanese will not really be enough to console me. But the fact that I will know that I couldn't have done any more will. I took this whole week off work and immersed myself in Japanese. I'm as well prepared as I'll ever be.

But I still have that clock to beat in the reading/grammar section. A friend Mark suggested that I tackle the grammar questions at the back of this section first as they are easier. But unfortunately as of last year the format has changed and the reading comprehension questions are worth more. I just have to plough through as fast as I can. I'll tackle it as it comes.

The listening in past exams was easier than I thought. I suppose it's obvious but I guess my ear for understanding spoken Japanese really has improved. It's weird when something like that takes a jump but you don't really notice it. And I did another last minute cram of the kanji that is on the list that I know I have problems with. I don't know where I would be without that Heisig kanji book that I mentioned a while back. Once this is over I have grand plans for a kanji resource web site based on the stories I came up with for the book. I am aware it is nerdy but I can't wait to get that all up and running, will be a good chance to teach myself how to interface PHP to a MySQL database.

Fingers crossed. Good luck everyone else out there sitting the Nihongo Nouryoku Shiken tomorrow!!! Gambarimashou!!!

Well I have been studying like a mother f*cker for this Japanese exam, and we are getting very close. Naturally I am possessed by mixed feelings of elation at the prospect of getting it out the way, and deathly fear at how difficult it might be. Nevertheless, if things go badly I know that I will have given it my best shot. I have done nothing in the past three days but eat, sleep and study.

Oh, and write this blog. Hey, we all need time out.

Everyone says that the grammar section is always the hardest, so I have been ploughing my way through a few books to get my head around the different forms that you need to know.

I definitely recommend the Kanzen Master Series (1,200 yen) for its excellent example sentences and easy-to-understand explanations of each of the grammar constructs. I have also been steadily working through Grammar for the Japanese Proficiency Exam (1,460 yen) as it has lots of exercises, although there is no furigana for the kanji, so it's tough going and requires frequent visits to the kanji dictionary.

Of course both these books are all in Japanese and not a single book explaining grammar for the exam exists in English.

But it's the reading section that has me worried. Yesterday I sat down and did a past exam for the first time, including the listening section on the CD. Overall my score was about 65% (the pass mark is 60%). So there is some hope. Here's the problem though:

I took twice as long as the allowed 70 minutes to do the reading/grammar section.

I don't think the examiners will listen to me if say "Hang on a minute, I just want to read that paragraph one more time..."

Fingers crossed.

There are a couple of livewires in my first year class at junior high school this year. Two boys in particular are uber-genki. It's not that they're bad students - they always do pair-work activities and pick things up quickly. In fact, they're great.

They're just LOUD.

It's hilarious - when we are drilling new language, they pipe up in silly deep voices and make a laugh out of it all. Some would say they are taking the piss, but they are not distracting others, but actually making the lesson more fun. I think they just love being attention-getting clowns. And it makes everyone laugh and the whole lesson a bit more enjoyable (let's face it, how exciting can listen and repeat get?)

Anyway, today after class as I was walking down the staircase on my way back to the teachers' room, I heard a loud bellow of "MASHUUUU!!!!" and looked up. My two favourite little loud boys were at the top of the stairs, screaming enthusiastically at the top of their voices.

Mashuuuu!! Nan iro? What colour? What colour?

The boys had their legs spaced widely apart and were grinning as they eagerly pointed to their groins.

Ahh yes, thus our young curious scouts stumble upon the age-old and oft-speculated question that must plague Asian kids daily, from Timor to Thailand:

What colour is the pubic hair on a foreigner who doesn't have black hair?????

And thus one of the mysteries finally gets solved. Boys, it's flourescent pink. And yes, it glows in the dark.

I mean, honestly.

I am indeed a sucker for punishment.

I had the misfortune of going along to see some rakugo this afternoon. Rakugo is the Japanese equivalent to stand-up comedy, but obviously the style is quite different. In the West most stand-up involves at least some element of being rude. Eddie Murphy, Billy Connolly, Rodney Rude, Steady Eddy. Even Jerry Seinfeld's snippets had the occasional snippet of innuendo. The goal is to have the audience in fits for the majority of the time they are sitting in down.

It seems the goals in rakugo are a little different. I'm not quite sure what they are, but if you can imagine going along to a family reunion and hearing your great grandpa Ralph relay stories from "when I was a lad", from dinner until the early hours of the morning, then you would be getting close. From what I had read, the stories are generally set in the Edo period, and involve the performer assuming different roles and basically acting as the medium for these different characters to have conversations to facilitate the story. The smells, sounds and images of Edo-Tokyo are supposed to come washing back from the past.

I had three reasons for attending this side-splitting (ahem) performance. One was because one of the performers was a guy who works at my school. No, not as a teacher - Yoshizawa-san works in the office. I don't have much to do with him except at the end of the month when he approaches me for money for the school lunches I eat there every day. But he's a nice guy and had mentioned that he was performing, so I said I'd come along.

The second reason was, of course, to tick it off the list. Seeing some live rakugo is one of those cultural things that, like Sumo, Noh and Kabuki, one feels obliged to experience at least once while living in Japan.

And thirdly, it was free. Say no more.

Nick Pal had expressed an interest in joining me, but was running a little late. I was looking forward to it though (it couldn't run longer than an hour or so, surely) and so I settled into my seat at the Fukugawa-Edo Community Centre. I suddenly realised that not only was I the only foreigner (as expected), but I was also the youngest person in the audience. By about 40 years.

I desperately sent Nick a text message on the phone, requesting that he bring beer.

The first storyteller began his ramble, and although I actually understood more of the Japanese than I had at my school culture day, I still couldn't put it together. The audience chuckled here and there. His facial expressions and staccato arguments that he had with himself were comical enough to draw a smile from me, but basically most of the dialogue went over my head.

Fifty minutes later I realised that I could be in trouble. My Japanese listening muscles were prepared to sit through an hour, maybe an hour and a half of Edo period rough slang, but it looked like there were going to be four performers, and if each was going to run for that long, well... you do the math.

Nick arrived half an hour in and we both sat patiently, straining our ears and trying our darndest to comprehend what was going on. It was futile though.

As soon as the first performer finished, we cracked our tall cans of beer open and began to chug-a-lug. I think it was the fastest I have drunk 500mL of anything. Once both cans were downed we gave a silent nod to each other and hastily made our exit.

Here was my dilemma though - I had seen Yoshizawa-san on the way in to the hall, and said hello, so he knew I was present. I had to watch his performance, but who knew how long away it was. We asked the lovely ladies at the front desk. They empathised with our situation (Muzukashii, desho? - I guess it's difficult hey?) and informed us that at 3.30, Yoshizawa-san, the star performer of the day, would be taking to the stage for our laughing enjoyment.

Nick and I took our time, dined on some sashimi at a local hole-in-the-wall restaurant, and sobered up. Half a litre of beer with no lunch really goes straight to the head. It was good though, we hadn't caught up for a while and had a good chat before preparing for the final show.

We snuck in at around 3.30 and eagerly awaited Yoshizawa-san's humorous antics. He took his place on the sacred cushion on stage and began rambling. And rambling. And on he went. I picked up bits and pieces but even what I could understand wasn't funny. It just wasn't. No-one in the audience was laughing either. I panned around.

They were all asleep.

Well, not all of them. But definitely a majority. I even heard a snore coming from the back row. This was supposed to be comedy! And I had yet to hear a single laugh. Poor Yoshizawa-san, I really wanted to support him. But I just couldn't take it any more.

I sculled the rest of my Yebisu beer, turned to Nick, and got a nod of agreement from him.

And we got the hell out of there.

I attended the first half of my junior high school's anniversary festival today. I get the impression that one doesn't normally get invited to these kinds of things (I didn't last year), but I have established a good rapport with the teachers at this school and felt like I should do the right thing and make an appearance.

I rocked up (9.00 on a Saturday morning, mind you) not quite knowing what to expect, and took my seat in the gymnasium in the area reserved for teachers, off to the side of all the students.

And thus the music begun.

It must be that Japan is a karaoke-culture that so many kids have no inhibitions about just getting up on stage and belting out a number. Ikeda-kun from the 3rd grade did it while playing a guitar and harmonica, and he sounded good. The girls from 3B didn't quite hit the high notes of their soppy number, but credit to them for having a go (they still sounded better than I would have had I tried to sign in front of a few hundred people). I really enjoyed listening to the different styles that were performed, from pop rock to love ballads to brass-band instrumentals.

But the problem for me was that after the music finished, the rest of the day was full of plays. Music is a universal language. Japanese is not.

Before I continue, let me clarify that I tried really hard to understand what was going on. I had drunk a Dekavita C genki drink with my breakfast to pep me up in preparation for a long day. And for quite a while now I have felt confident enough to carry out a conversation in Japanese with anyone about pretty much anything. If you don't know the word for something, you can always say it another way and be understood.

But hearing native speakers speak amongst themselves and understanding what is going on is an entirely different ball game. I have definitely made ground lately in terms of comprehending the Japanese I hear around me, and I'm sure if I watched more television understanding would improve. Unfortunately I'm just not much of a television watcher.

And so it was useless. The speed these kids rattled off their lines, using all kinds of variations and rough phrases for when people get angry or are frustrated made comprehension impossible. The play lasted about 45 minutes and I understood about 10% of it. I was proud to see my students up there, so naturally acting out some drama about... well I actually have no idea what it was about... but I was still proud to see them up there on stage and in lights. But that's not enough to get you through 45 minutes while sitting in an uncomfortable chair. The audience laughed at punchlines, gasped at shocking turns of events, and cheered at heartfelt speeches. And I clapped politely.

All of a sudden I felt incredibly lonely. Here I was, sitting on my own in a big hall surrounded by a constant stream of a foreign language coming at me, with no reprise. I've been in this country for over 2 years and really made an effort at studying the language and immersing myself in as much of the culture as I can, and I basically understood nothing. It was a frightening realization.

The festival runs all day. The afternoon is full of plays, and as much as I wanted to "do the right thing" and stick around, I had to excuse myself. I used the word yakusoku, which means that I had a promise that I had to keep.

Not a complete lie - the promise was with myself, and involved having some solo time, before I have to go into Japanese mode again for the dinner with all the teachers from 6.00 tonight. At 6,000 yen a head, it better be a damn fine meal.

Never since arriving in Tokyo have I wanted to be surrounded by English so much. Not a good frame of mind to be in for studying for my exam. Hence the question: is it better to be completely ignorant and not speak any nihongo, so that you don't get invited to all these things and don't have to struggle through the frustrations of understanding nothing? Probably not, but it would certainly be a hell of a lot easier...

Well, I am studying like mad in the countdown to this year's Japanese Proficiency Exam. Having flown through level 3 last year I am taking a crack at level 2 this December. But the only flying to be done this time round is likely to be my hands in the air (out of frustration, not out of joy).

Yes, the jump in difficulty from level 3 to level 2 is enormous, and I am beginning to ponder the wisdom of my decision. But, I've paid the 5,000 yen entry fee and on the off chance that I might scrape through, I'm going to give it everything I have. If I was to sit the exam right now I would guess that I would probably get about 20%, but there is still (a bit of) time. Kim is also having a crack at the exam this year - level 4 - and has a much higher probability of passing as her nihongo has really come along lately (surprisingly, since she actually started doing the occasional bit of study!)

Because I won't be thinking about much else, over the coming months I plan to write mainly about Japanese study: books available, methods, useful internet resources and the like.

The most interesting part of studying Japanese is the kanji character set, so let me start with one of the best dedicated kanji study sites, kanji clinic.

Although the design is terrible (really Mary, yellow on black is hard on the eyes), the author writes a column for the Japan Times about studying kanji, and scrolling through the archives of these columns there are lots of useful tips and links. I find kanji characters fascinating, but there are so many of the bastards, so reading as much as possible about the different methods you can approach your study of the kanji with is imperative.

Another great site is rikai.com. For the student of Japanese, this web site is honestly amazing. You can input the URL of any Japanese web page, and it will spit out a version of the page which provides the reading and English meaning of all of the kanji characters on the page. [Note: for people who can't read any Japanese, this doesn't mean it translates the page into English. You do need to be able to read hiragana and have some knowledge of Japanese grammar to get the full meaning, but you can probably get the gist]. There is also a great kanji flashcards page on this site too, very comprehensive and complete!

For studying in the wee hours of the morning though, a computer simply cannot beat a good old-fashioned book, and after trying a few different ones, I have become an evangelist for James Heisig's Remembering the Kanji 1, the best-selling seminal text for teaching kanji characters through mnemonics.

Although it addresses over 2,000 characters (almost enough to read a newspaper), this book only teaches you how to write and understand the meaning of each character - not any of the Japanese or Chinese readings. So once you have completed the book, you will then still have to do additional study to learn how to read them (that's where my precious electronic dictionary has come in handy). However, for those who live in Japan and have a higher level of conversational Japanese than written Japanese (usually the case), this task then becomes simplified: each time you happen on a new character on the way to work, there is less learning to be done because you have the meaning under your belt already. I have found this true for many of the characters that appear in day-to-day life, such as on advertisements in the train and in signage on the street.

I actually bought a similar book a while ago entitled Kanji ABC, by Foerster and Tamura, and worked my way through creating stories using their method. However, I found their method to be massively flawed, for reasons I will detail another time. In short, if you are interested in learning all the kanji (an ominous sounding task), then I firmly believe Heisig's method is the only way to do it. Buy the book.

More late, back to the study! I am only up to character number 1,201. And after that there is the readings of each character, vocabulary, grammar, reading comprehension, listening...