opinios

I have loved living in Japan. It's been a real dream come true after studying the language in high school, hosting some exchange students and developing a taste for the country and its culture. I love Australia too, but I never thought I would reach a point where I just absolutely HAD to go home. I thought that my leaving Japan would be a reluctant parting, one of those things that I know I would have to do eventually but never really wanted to.

Well, no more. I am so over it.

The stress and complications of living in another foreign country has really gotten to me in the past few days and I'm ready to go home. Two and a half years is more than enough. It seems like every little hurdle is compounding to make everything seem insurmountable, and it just puts me in a bad mood. For those who know me well, you will know that it takes quite a bit to get me riled.

Kim's knee of course isn't helping matters. The poor thing, she has put up with 4 weeks of pain and restricted movement now. This has been incredibly frustrating for her, but what is worse is the feeling of helplessness when you don't really know if the doctor understands the situation. He's an osteopath, so his specialty is bones, not muscles. But how can we be sure he knows what he is doing? We can't. We just trust him and trust there is no miscommunication in the broken half-Japanese/half-English dialogue that we have with him.

But then there's all the other bullshit. Favours and obligations. The other day I promised to help out a friend who was good to us when we arrived in Japan by teaching what I thought was an elementary school English class. As it turns out, the audience is a room full of elementary school TEACHERS, the topic is "the difference between child-raising and discipline in Japan and other countries", it goes for 2 hours, and it's all in Japanese. And I don't even know if they are paying me for it or not. And, I'm taking a day's annual leave to be there, after teaching ANOTHER school class that morning on the other side of Tokyo to help another friend out (at least I am getting paid for that one, but it's still on my day off and it's hardly lucrative!) How the hell did I get roped into this? When I suggested that this friggin' child discipline seminar might be a bit beyond me, the response was "Oh we've already sent out the brochures about you, so I'm afraid it's too late". How? How does it happen?

It just compounds. The teacher I taught with today can't plan two minutes ahead in her schedule, let alone decide what we should teach for a class in two day's time. The teachers' room at my regular elementary school doubles as the smoko room, and I always leave there snorting and coughing up dust and smoke. My apartment is smaller than the living room of the last place I lived at in Melbourne. I got jabbed in the balls on the train this morning by my own bag as the crowds were so bad. I haven't had an outdoor BBQ or been camping for over 3 years now (no that hut in Tanzawa doesn't count). Not that I could eat beef without being worried about catching mad cow disease or chicken without being worried about catching avian flu. All my friends and family are having babies (almost without exception) and I won't be there. And the strong Aussie dollar is making all this less and less worthwhile.

Really, I'm not normally one to be negative. The thing is, I think I just really wanna go home.